Being single

There is nothing wrong with being single

Unfortunately we can often feel pressured if we are not part of a couple or constantly getting off with someone – like there must be something wrong with us.

Ignore it – If you are single, Congratulations!

You are in a really good place to get some ‘me time’ in and to think about what you want and how you feel. One of the most important things you can do for your own emotional health and wellbeing is to make sure you have time out just for you, to do what you want.

The trouble is, when you are part of a couple, it is very easy to get a bit lost, or to get caught up pleasing your other half rather than thinking about what you like or want to do.

Instead, enjoy the fact that you do not have to answer to anyone. Spend time with your friends, having a laugh and enjoy yourself, doing the things you love. Get to know your body, find out what you are good at, and what makes you happy. It is hard to make anyone else smile, if you don’t know how to smile yourself. Make some plans, set some goals – things just for you. Learn to be comfortable simply being you.

The fact is – YOU ARE AMAZING!

If you are in a relationship:

Remember, you do not have to be permanently attached at the hip – this goes for boyfriends or girlfriends and also best friends. It is easy to get so wrapped up in each other that you forget all your other friends and family – or even you lose sight of yourself.

It can become very claustrophobic and you can end up feeling trapped. Or even worse, what happens when things go wrong or come to an end and suddenly you haven’t spoken or seen any of your friends for months – who are you going to turn to for support?

There is a difference between spending time together and spending quality time together. You both need some space to breathe, and do your own thing. This can often be a little scary or make people a little insecure – but unfortunately you need to get over it – it is the only way for two people to survive in a long term relationship. You both need your own interests and time out for yourself.

© Going off the Rails 2012. Adapted from ‘Playing Downstairs’ by Jonny Hunt

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