Arguing

Often when we get upset, we get angry – we have a bit of a shout and say things that we don’t really mean in an attempt to get a reaction out of our partners, or to hurt them. Sometimes, after we have cooled off and thought about things we see things differently – and perhaps regret acting rashly.

So, have you actually split up or have you just spat your dummies out?

If this is the case – it’s grovelling time.

It’s normal

Remember there is nothing wrong with arguing from time to time – to be honest it would be dull if we agreed about everything. You should both have your own mind and that means occasionally you will annoy the hell out of each other.

The skill is to learn when and how to argue – we all react differently when we are upset – especially if alcohol is involved. Sometimes it is best to walk away and have it out when you have both calmed down – rather than during the heat of anger.

Saying Sorry

Indeed, there is nothing wrong with admitting that you are wrong or have behaved badly – it is the responsible and sensible thing to do – remember we learn from making mistakes. Put your hands up and ask to be forgiven. There is no point letting something good go because you had a Barney!

However, if you are forgiven – learn from what has happened. Think about how you both could have acted differently and make sure that it doesn’t happen again.

It Keeps Happening

Indeed, if you do keep finding yourselves in the same situation, time-and-time again then perhaps it is a sign. If this is the case – then walking away permanently might not be such a bad thing.

© Going off the Rails 2012. Adapted from ‘Playing Downstairs’ by Jonny Hunt

 

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